Back in Darwin - 9 week scan, 9.5 actually :)

So we changed flights to head back to Darwin so we could be with Amee at the next scan. Dr Toledo just wants to see if the blood is going and under control. The good news is it is. Its shrunk to about a quarter of the original size and Amee has had no more bleeding which is fantastic!

Blob is measuring at 9.5weeks which matched Amee's cycle and a heat beat of 168bpm! Amee is convinced Blob is a girl! Hamish keeps saying the baby inside Aunty Amee's tummy is a 'Sister'.. we shall see in a few weeks when we do the new tests... EDD 9th December 2015!

 

6.6 Weeks

 

 

Well there it is, little 'Blob' flickering away oblivious to the stress that's going on around it. They managed to fit Amee in this morning for an urgent scan and there is a heartbeat of 123bpm which is normal for this age. That's fantastic news!!!!!

 

But as nothing is ever easy and there was an issue. There is blood showing on the outside somewhere so we have to wait and see what Dr Toledo says. The sonographer was not worried, said it was common but said she was not a Dr.

 

So back on Dr Google I go to see that these things are called 'subchorionic haemorrhage or hematoma'. Its quite common at this time and for the most there are no issues. The body usually absorbs it. They say in most cases the haemorrhage heals without intervention within a few weeks and the pregnancy continues normally. The only issue seems to be if it's too close to the placenta and it can take the baby with it.. so Kylie WAIT FOR THE DR TO GIVE HER VERDICT!

 

 For now Blob is happy and growing in it's little Wenchy Environment.

 

 

Another blip

Amee texts me this morning that she did some exercise and there is now more blood :( It can happen but..

Are we worried?
Yes
Could it be the same as last time?
Yes
Should we get an early scan?
Yes

Waiting on Dr Toledo to get back to us to confirm when. I've also asked if I can't be there can I be on the phone when the scan is on? I just don't want her to be alone or have to deliver bad news.

Come on little Blob.. one day at a time. The weather is nice in there isn't it? :)

Breathing again

So the last 36 hours has been a little scary. Amee called Tuesday night to say she was bleeding. What she eventually told me was that it had started Monday, brownish and was now red. She had already been to see a Dr and had a scan! Grrrrrrrrr

So we all obviously hit the panic button. Bleeding is bad right? It has been for me. The first sign of blood meant it was all over but I knew it was common for 100's of reasons and it might be ok. Amee was a mess. She wants this so badly for us.

So I packed a bag and looked at flights.. I just felt like I should go up there to be with her. We had a Grad Ceremony at Geelong yesterday so Adrian could take me to the airport for the night flight. SO we were ready to go if things got bad.

The worst thing is no one can do anything. What will be will be and it's a waiting game. So Amee finally called Melb IVF yesterday when the local Dr did nothing for her. He would not give any results and didn't seem to be concerned about her concerns. So she got onto Sarah and she rushed through bloods, talked to Dr Toledo and asked for a scan. Amee had already done one so the results were sent to them.

Yesterday afternoon Sarah called to say the Dr was not concerned with her HCG levels of 8,600 on Monday which matched the scan which were perfect for the times, plus given the small amount of blood it should be fine. BUT we had to wait to this morning for the bloods to come back. Darwin time....

So this morning I felt sick, we waitied, we called and had to wait some more. Bloods are 13,000... Yay... double yay... tracking fine :) Blob is ok and growing well. Thankfully we can breath again and Amee can get some much needed sleep after the panic.

Next step is Friday week when we get to see if everything is tracking and there is a heartbeat. So come on little Blob.. little Muppet.. GROW, GROW, GROW!!!

Amee entitled this email to me 'Here 'she' is!'.. I wonder...

The Easter Bunny came in more ways that one!

The Easter Bunny came!!!!

We were caught out this morning with day light savings! I thought it was after Easter but no its today. An extra hour of sleep would have been nice but we all know that's non existent with rug rats! So up early, Easter hunt with a VERY happy lil man who looked super cute running around the yard with bunny ears on. Its been chocolate sneaking all day!

In the middle of all this Amee had sent a message telling me she was onto pathology who had not yet faxed anything to Melb. She's so onto it all! :)

So 'The Blob' (we have to come up with a better name than that!) is doing well and Amee's HCG is 215! With Hamish the bloods were taken a day earlier and they were 160 so we are doing great! I'm glad I kept records from our previous tries.. stops me being a Google addict! IVF will call on Tuesday for the next steps which they said would be the 7 week ultrasound around the 20th April. I'm sure three will be bloods to see the doubling as well. AWSOMEEEE!!!!!!!

Hamish and I booked Bali with the Meredith crew today after we had a bit of an idea about where we needed to be. Looking forward to it!

 

Bloods in Darwin on a long weekend?

Are you kidding me?

Well apparently they do take them! Wonders never cease :)

Amee and her 'blood buddy 'Abbey went to the pathology recommended by Melb IVF at 7.30am. Was there anyone there on the Saturday.. I could lie and say yes but NO! So they went to another one and got it done :) Another one in Darwin?? Over Easter?? lol

Rushing is not something they do in the Territory so by 3.30pm our time IVF called to say they were not yet in. As if we didn't know that would happen :)

On a funny note Amee went for a bike ride with the kids on Friday and almost threw up. She had to stop and take her helmet off in full pubic view. :) heheheh That's a great sign and I know I shouldn't be laughing but I so can! :)

In a bit of shock!

Just as I was getting Hamish up my phone tinged...  April Fools? I'd kill her! :)

Actually I didn't think about it but Adrian thought it might have been a joke.. BUT it's a POSITIVE!! Wow oh wow!!!!! Adrian is in Sydney so I had to send him the pics :) In Shock!!

I face timed Amee and she held it up.. I think we all in shock! It worked.. it worked.. wow.. it was too easy to work! The 30 seconds (if that) to get it there and now this.

Bloods on Saturday to see the levels. Crossing everything this 'Little Blob' is a strong little muppet!

 Wow...

Call from the nurse

Heidi called to see how we were both doing. She laughed when I told her Amee was POAS every day and she said she told her there would be nothing right now! Phew...She said if it was successful there might be something by Thursday or Friday but the levels are really low. Lets hope she's right. I just cant get away from this niggling feeling that it hasn't worked. OOMC - Out Of My Control is my new acronym. My mind is preparing for something that's is OOMC, my heart is aching hoping this is it.

So Saturday is the first day of bloods. Saturday afternoon we will know either way. Come on 'Little Blob' as Amee has affectionately called it.. COME ON!

Adrian has gone to Sydney for work and helping his mum.. he'll be back on Sat night.

This wait really sucks

We have been here unfortunately many times before but Amee hasn't. She just had sex and fell pregnant!

I know she wants this badly for us and for her and her connection with Brett. But peeing on a stick on day 1 will not help our anxiety! :) She's peeing every day and I love her for it but it's doing both our heads in. Nothing either of us can do will help this process but it's hard to remain stress free. So Wench... Breath!

Of course I started the usual google searches... CRAP as usual. Every level, every outcome..so I stopped for once!! Nothing can change this so doing searching for answers that wont be there is only putting more stress on me (as she doesn't know I'm doing it :))

I just keep hearing that Dr's words and wondering if all this is just a money making decision? They have the choice to do it right but don't because statists say one in 3 will work? They make extra each cycle... but for us its not about the money. Of course that counts but it's the fact that I probably wont get any more eggs if we had to do this all again plus the fact that we are getting older and if we had to do another round and wait another 6 months for quarantine.. it would be 12 months before another try. That's almost 2 years away from another baby. Hamish would be almost 5, we would be 44 and 46.

I struggle with age, we both do. Should we bring a child into the world and be older parents? We have so much love to give.. and no age limit should apply but its hard. I just wish we had met years before and we would have teenagers right now.

1st Transfer - now the 2WW

Well it all seemed to go seamlessly. Embryo happily defrosted...YAY!, successfully transferred double YAY...



Raftery Embie

Until the Dr said 'Don't be too disappointed if the first try doesn't work out'.. WTF?? How are you supposed to digest that! Amee has just had the transfer and was getting off the bed when she said it. Seriously some people need to think before they speak. We are not stupid.. we know the stats, we know them all too well! Grrrrrrr

Anyway off we went for some lunch which was meant to be Thai but ended up being Pizza and a movie 'Focus'. Amee didn't want to pee all day in case the embie fell out. God love her.. it wont and cant if you pee! :) Now we begin the 2ww.  Her period is due next Wed so it won't be that long to find out but I know she will be POAS every day! :)

D Day - First transfer 25.3.15

So tomorrow is another D Day. D Day for a new episode in our Surrogacy journey.

After 8 months of Psychology assessments, Dr Reports and getting approval from the Patient Review Panel in VIC we are finally here. Finally we see if one of our 5 embies have the strength and tonicity to defrost, find that perfect spot in our Surrogate and Grow, Grow, Grow!

Our Surrogate or ‘Tummy Mummy’ happens to be my best friend Amee aka Wench. We have been friends for what feels like a lifetime to the both of us and 16 years is a long time in friendships. Ours is a different friendship, not the norm. We have seen each other through so much in life. All the usual stuff, the new relationships, the break ups, the b/f arguments, the all nighters, families, marriage, children, careers and the very difficult time of death to those close to us. In the period of 13 months we lost our Daughter Sophie and Amee lost her Husband Brett. Life can sure be hard for little reason at all.

So where did this all start? Amee and Brett had offered to help us have a family in 2008 when we lost Sophie. The offer was heartfelt and genuine on both their parts. It was an amazing offer and one that took a while to for me to take on especially since I blamed myself for everything. Losing your child is the most horrendous experience anyone can endure but we were also left without the ability to have more children.  All my fault.. my body did this.

When Brett died from a ‘One Punch’ as much as it hurt Amee to do it we needed to put it all on hold on this journey and we needed to look at other options. Amee and her kids were too important in our lives and they needed to heal without external pressures. I know for a while Amee hated that decision, and I say hate because she did. I guess Brett dying took so much from her and her kids this was another thing taken from her. But we had to let them recover from an awful tragedy.

So six years on Amee and her beautiful kids are in a much better place in life. She has an amazing family who support no matter what but especially her wonderful parents who moved to her city to help her get her life back on track. This help continues today and she would not be here helping us without them, so we thank them from the bottom of our hearts.

D-Day… I need to let go and stop stressing. Everything here on in is out of my control. So today instead of stressing we are saying PUPO!